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Talking
with your doctor
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"Sorting
it all out took some time and some thought. But now I
know what’s out there and what I want. I explained
it to my doctor and my family. Now we make decisions
together based on my priorities."
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Preparing for the appointment
When you have a serious illness,
many questions are likely to arise, and you have a right to
the answers. During a doctor’s appointment, however, it’s
easy to get side tracked. Anxiety often runs high and can block
your clearest thinking. As well, doctors have schedules to
keep. If you feel pressured during the appointment, it may
be difficult to stay focused on addressing each of your concerns.
We suggest you maximize your time with the doctor by preparing
for your appointments beforehand. Here are some tips: |
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- Write down your questions and then prioritize them (for
instance, put a 1 by the most important, a 2 by the next
most important, etc.).
- If
you see that you have many questions, you may want to
call the doctor’s office and see if you can book
a double appointment to be sure they all get answered.
- Bring all your medications with you to the appointment.
This way, if the doctor prescribes something new or if you
are experiencing distressing symptoms, he or she can review
your medications to be sure there is no problem with drug
interactions.
- When you arrive for the appointment, give the medical
assistant a copy of your written questions and ask that
they be put on the front of the chart so the doctor can
see them.
- Have someone come with you into the exam room. This person
should also have a copy of the questions. He or she can
take notes during the appointment and help make sure your
questions have been addressed to your satisfaction.
- Start by asking the doctor the most important question
first, then the next most important, and so on. Stay focused
on your questions. If you wander into interesting side stories
you will lose valuable time.
- If
you hear words you do not understand, ask for an explanation.
Doctors get used to their "medical shorthand" and
sometimes forget that it involves words the rest of us
do not understand.
- When a procedure is recommended, ask about the benefits
and the risks as well as any alternatives and their known
benefits and risks. (See Specific
questions below.)
- If the doctor does not have enough time, ask if someone
else on his or her staff can answer your questions. If that
is not an option, then ask if you can make another appointment
so you can finish. Remember, you have a right to have your
questions answered.
- Spend time after the visit talking with the person who
came with you. He or she will likely have good insights
about the appointment and can help you identify any areas
that are still unclear. (Return to list)
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Specific questions you might ask |
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- How serious is this illness? If I do nothing, what is
likely to happen?
- What exactly does the treatment accomplish? How does
it work?
- Will the treatment you are recommending cure me? Give
me added time? How much time?
- How much improvement can I expect? Will it allow me to
return to my previous level of functioning? If not, will
I at least be able to ____________________?
- What are the side effects of the treatment? How will
they affect my daily life? Do they get worse over time?
- What can be done to manage the side effects? How well
can we keep them under control?
- How
and when will we know whether the treatment is working?
What does "success" look like?
- Are there other options to this treatment? What are their
risks and benefits? Expected outcomes?
- If our first treatment plan does not seem to be working,
what would you recommend we do next?
- If no cure is possible, what are the chances I could
at least improve?
- On the basis of my current condition, what do you expect
in the next few weeks? The next few months?
- Do you think I would benefit more by focusing on comfort
care (e.g., removal of pain) rather than treatment? What
is provided with comfort care? Can I have hospice?
(Return to list)
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Getting a second opinion
You may wish to get a second opinion
from another physician. Awkward as it might feel, it is a good
idea to let your doctor know about your plans because the second
physician will request copies of your chart, past lab reports,
etc. Doctors understand that second opinions, especially in
the context of serious illnesses, are a good idea. Sometimes
they are required by insurance, and sometimes it’s simply
something the patient needs to do to feel all options have
been explored. If your doctor disapproves of your desire for
a second opinion, remember that it is your health and therefore
your decision to make. (Return to list)
Expressing your health care wishes
Once you have learned about the
options available to you, weigh the information you receive
in light of your personal values. Concerns about hope
and quality of life
are likely to surface. We suggest you look at the Important
Decisions section of this website. It talks about some
of the legal aspects of making your wishes known. In particular,
you will want to write an advance
directive describing your desires for life-sustaining
treatment. (Even people in the "prime of life" would
be well-advised to have written instructions of this sort in
case something unexpected happens.) Talk to your family about
your decisions and give a copy of your advance directive to
your physician. This document will guide your family and the
health care team if you eventually are unable to speak for
yourself. (Return to list) |
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This website is sponsored by Lower Valley Hospice and Palliative Care, providing compassionate care and support
to the seriously ill and their families since 1978. |
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