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Death in the US is often thought of as the enemy. Everywhere
you look in end of life care you see evidence of our societal
defiance of death. Our attitudes are reflected in the
fact that so many people enter the final stages of their
lives unprepared for the experience of dying; they’re
reflected in the fact that physicians often believe they
have failed when someone dies; they are reflected in the
endless medical interventions that can occur at the end of
life, in the very late admissions into hospice, in the lack
of support so many people experience during their grieving
process, and in many, many other ways as well.
How
does that old adage go? “In America only two things are certain: paying taxes
and death!” And yet, in light of this undeniable reality most of us, if
given the choice, would prefer to talk about taxes than dying. The events of
the past ten days has changed that somewhat, like it or not, this issue is on
our televisions, our radios, and yes…. in our newspapers. It’s
not that we don’t know what we want. In my experience, once the conversation
has been initiated, most of us say the same things: we don’t want to “suffer
in pain” or “be a burden to our loved ones”, we want to “maintain
our independence”, “be treated with care and dignity”, and
have our “loved ones at our side”. When asked specific questions,
regarding the continuation or discontinuation of medical treatment such as machines
to help us breath, antibiotics, or tubes to feed and hydrate us—we also
know what we want. Unfortunately, we do little; in fact often nothing to ensure
that the things we want will occur. We don’t plan for this inevitable
time in our lives.
My
hope is that the Terri Schiavo and all the attention she
has received will serve, as much needed catalyst for change. My
hope is that the conversation isn’t just on your televisions,
or on your radio’s but that it is taking place in your
living rooms, at your kitchen tables, over the phone with
your loved ones living far away.
An Oregon Advanced Directive states your medical wishes
if you are unable to speak for yourself, and it allows you
to chose a Health Care Representative to make decisions for
you. It doesn’t require an attorney to be filled out;
it isn’t expensive, or difficult to understand. I
challenge each and every one of us to complete this form—now! It
is a valuable gift you give to yourself and to those you
love most.
There are a number of resources available here in our community
to assist you in this important planning. Partners
to Improve End of Life Care has volunteers who offer a talk
titled “Live Fully Today, Health Care Decisions for
Tomorrow: Let Your Voice Be Heard”. This presentation
is appropriate for your staff meetings, church meetings,
or other group meetings. For more information about
scheduling this presentation contact Susan Isaacs at: 228-3081. Partners
to Improve End-of-Life Care will also be hosting its 2nd
Annual “Health Care Decisions Day” on Saturday,
May 14, 2005 from 10:00 to 3:00 at Valley River Centerin
Eugene. We will have Advanced Directive forms and people
available to answer questions at the event. Our website: www.seriousillness.org/lane has
a number of valuable resources on it including information
about how to raise this important topic with family members.
I believe that “Dying is a part of living. That
it is a time in which people can strengthen bonds with the
people they love and a time in which they can find profound
meaning in their final days. We all deserve to “Die
Well”, and yet the reality is that—that is often
not the case. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross once said “I
envision a future in which dying is embraced as a part of
living and in which the care of the dying is an integral
part of the life of the family and the life of the community.”
This is my vision too.
Jennifer Wagner
President,
Partners to Improve-End-of-Life Care
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