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Emotional-Spiritual
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Emotional-Spiritual
Issues
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"We
all know we’re going to die, but a diagnosis like
this suddenly makes it real. I’ve found that it’s
changed the way I feel about myself, my family, and my
place in the world. I've had to rethink what it all means."
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As we face the possibility that
we are in the last chapter of our lives, our priorities suddenly
change. Life’s details may fade to the background, and
we may find ourselves looking at its deeper meanings. Old conflicts
pale in importance, and the desire to resolve difficulties with
family relationships often comes to the fore. Serious illness
presents an opportunity to evaluate one’s life. People
often reflect upon their accomplishments and even humbly acknowledge
their regrets. When facing a serious illness, we commonly think
about what remains undone and focus on addressing those issues
one day at a time.
Luis is a 68-year-old man who
has advanced diabetes. His kidneys are starting to fail. When
he is honest with himself,
he realizes that the dialysis is only a temporary solution.
Although he was religious in his youth, he has not been to church
in many decades. As he concedes that his illness is quite serious,
spirituality is becoming
more important to him. He spends quite a bit of time seeking
his own interpretation of the meaning
of life.
As the days and weeks pass, Luis
goes back and forth between periods of hope
and periods of letting go. Both he and his family are grieving,
yet they have also become aware of the gifts his illness has
revealed. For instance, Luis has been able to mend some of the
rifts in his family relationships
and has resolved a long-time conflict with his daughter that
separated them for more than 15 years.
Although they are uncomfortable
thinking about his death, his family caregivers know it is inevitable
and are doing their best to make him comfortable. Still, it
is extremely difficult to watch someone you care about gradually
decline, with little hope of getting better. His children are
also concerned about their mother. They hope that when the time
comes, the rituals of her
faith—the funeral and family gathering afterward—will
help her accept Luis’ passing.
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